Understanding this concept can set you free of suffering
I was texting a friend recently about a 3-day cleanse that I was doing.
When I told him what I was cutting out for three days, he wondered what there was left to eat. I said, “plenty of veggies, seafood, herbs, tea, coffee and lots of water!”
He then replied with "Coffee is not purifying.”
For a minute, I felt triggered.
I then reframed the negative thoughts that came up from seeing those words on my phone with:
➤ He doesn't have the full "what-how-why" info behind the cleanse, and that's okay
➤ It was an attempt at being comedic or sarcastic, also okay
➤ He's a dear old friend, not a frenemy
➤ “Purifying" can be a relative term
Instead of reacting in defense mode by "correcting" him or lashing out, I replied, "It has its benefits ☺️."
Doing this kept me from mentally spinning out and feeling irritated as a result.
I share this story to shed light on a very common human phenomenon: misinterpreting people's words, in person or in text.
We all have in our minds a library of information based on our unique experiences and paths in life. Whether learned or inherited, this collection of factual information, personal values, perspective and beliefs becomes our "life guide.”
When I keep this in mind, that people's "life guide" has nothing to do with me, I switch from reactive to proactive mode.
Doing so not only prevents potential conflict, but also unnecessary emotional suffering.
I invite you to also practice the same mind work whenever you feel triggered by someone's choice of words. And for bonus points, get curious (from a place of love and kindness) on why!
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